I feel like I'm the only person who would have been subjected to this, but I know that there must have been other Indian, Persian, and Arab girls, as well as some non-ethnic ones with crazy or religious parents. I just feel alone and ashamed though.
I hate that this happened because it shames me.
I hate that I feel this way because people tell me that they would have understood and not ridiculed me for it.
I hate that this is bothering me right now, when I have three wonderful kids and a great husband who love me despite it all, as well as the support of understanding friends.
I hae that I don't know how to make this stop bothering me.
If it helps at all, my struggles have been being angry at my father because the residual torment and pain comes out as anger. For many years when I would get into my funks, I wouldn't even know it. I'd be bristling with hurt and anger, and it would come out when I would experience people I love (those closest to me) going negative on me. The reality was that they were likely in a bad mood, or bothered by something not that huge, but I would take their behavior as being very critical of me. The result would be I would get very angry. If what I was experiencing were true, then maybe there would be reason for some of my anger. But I would over react, and the reality would almost always turn out to be fairly benign.
ReplyDeleteThese days I catch it sometimes myself, or it is pointed out to me that I need to go take care of myself.
No idea if it helps, but it feels analogous.
M